I’ve been feeling empty again.
So I’ve been trying to read more.
I’ve also been wanting to write more but it’s like my creativity is stuck, or locked up. As if there’s an imaginary roadblock. It’s been that way for the last couple of years but this year it’s very pronounced. Kind of like my creativity is sticking it’s tongue out and taunting me about it’s absence.
Writing takes thought and effort but reading doesn’t. So, in my quest to find Islamic Fiction and escape to other worlds, I came across a WordPress blog called Muslim Biker Chicks. Come to find out I had an account on WordPress.
I’d completely forgotten this was here.
I started this as a lonely, confused, and sad 16 year old and ironically I’m back as a ‘slightly depressed but not sure why cause I have things to be happy for’ 20 year old.
It’s a circle of sadness.
Bismillah hir Rahman ir Rahim.
Well I haven’t written anything for a little while. It’s not like anybody is actually reading this though.
Sooo school is about to start again -.- Im soooo not ready for this. Yes it’s gonna be my 11th grade year but honestly at this point Im bored and tired with this year to year crap. And this summer was sooo weird. It went by waaay to fast. But at least I had a summer.
In other news I have the most extreme case of writers block. I have no more ideas for my story on wattpad and I haven’t updated in months. Since before Ramadan. Im a horrible person, I know.
Oooooh and Ramadan was…okay. I kinda wish everyday was Ramadan because it’s so much easier to intend to do something good and stick to that plan. During the rest of the year Im always planning or knowing I should do something but when the time comes there’s always this evil little voice inside of me that goes “Oh it can wait five more minutes.” Then five mins become 10 and 10 mins become 10 years and 10 years become a lifetime. So this year was kind of a challenge for me because for some reason there were so many distractions and I kept hearing that evil little voice. Actually it scares me because everytime I listen to it, it gets bigger and bigger until maybe im never gonna be able to ignore it. This year didn’t feel the same at all.
I just pray that the Shaytan doesn’t lead me astray even though im immensely proud to say that Im trying to stay firm to my deen more and push that nigga away. If ANY muslim or even nonmuslim is reading this and has any suggestions that you think might help me with staying on ALLAH’s straight path PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU, PLEASEEEEE, leave a comment so that I may take heed and stay on the path leading to Jannah.
Okay so Im like an author or something (yea or something). I write lots of stories, poems etc. I put some of them on websites like Wattpad.com. When I post my stories it’s so people can enjoy them…so that I can enjoy people enjoying them. Im a mean person but I like when Im the source of someone’s happiness. It makes me feel good and the person who I’ve made happy. So I kill two birds w/ one stone (which doesn’t make the birds happy). Anyway, i don’t mind people giving their little comments here and there ex. “Oh I really like you’re story”, “Im starting to enjoy it”, “You’re writing is weak and you’re story seems unrealistic”…I welcome constructive critisism. It makes my writing better for both me and the people reading it. It gives me minor instruction and fresh new perspectives.
But I despise when some retard tiddlybot comes along and gives some retard comment.
For instance “I don’t like you’re character’s name. Her name should have been Kelly.”
Um who the hell are you?? You don’t get to decide my character’s name.
Or how about this comment “Your character’s too young!”
Listen hoe, this is my book, my story, my imagination, my character. I am the author of this story. Meaning I and I alone have the author-ity (see my lil play on words lol) to do as I please with anything that has to do with MY storyline. Now if you don’t like the goddamn age, name, hair color of my character go elsewhere and make your own effing character.
Sheesh I can’t believe people have the audacity to approach me with such bullishedness.
Okay rant over lol
……Btw Im trying to improve my control over my filthy mouth and what better way to do it then here -_-