Ode To Bucky Goad

I cried. So sad and moving

Thought Catalog

My oldest brother was twenty-five when he had the life stabbed out of him, but I was only eight. I’ve always known that he was murdered in Paris in 1969. What I didn’t learn until recently was that his whole life was only a dress rehearsal for that ugly final act.

My other brother Johnny, who’s thirteen years older than me and knew my oldest brother far better than I did, has helped me fill in a lot of the blank, bleak details.

Dad met mom at a USO Dance in Philly, accidentally knocked her up, and was in Europe fighting the Nazis when informed that he’d gotten her pregnant. Their first baby was born out of wedlock.

His legal name was Alton Howard Goad, Jr., but all we ever called him was Bucky.

Bucky was different from 99 percent of us because he couldn’t hear or talk. My mother…

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School? NOOOO

Bismillah hir Rahman ir Rahim.
Well I haven’t written anything for a little while. It’s not like anybody is actually reading this though.
Sooo school is about to start again -.- Im soooo not ready for this. Yes it’s gonna be my 11th grade year but honestly at this point Im bored and tired with this year to year crap. And this summer was sooo weird. It went by waaay to fast. But at least I had a summer.
In other news I have the most extreme case of writers block. I have no more ideas for my story on wattpad and I haven’t updated in months. Since before Ramadan. Im a horrible person, I know.
Oooooh and Ramadan was…okay. I kinda wish everyday was Ramadan because it’s so much easier to intend to do something good and stick to that plan. During the rest of the year Im always planning or knowing I should do something but when the time comes there’s always this evil little voice inside of me that goes “Oh it can wait five more minutes.” Then five mins become 10 and 10 mins become 10 years and 10 years become a lifetime. So this year was kind of a challenge for me because for some reason there were so many distractions and I kept hearing that evil little voice. Actually it scares me because everytime I listen to it, it gets bigger and bigger until maybe im never gonna be able to ignore it. This year didn’t feel the same at all.
I just pray that the Shaytan doesn’t lead me astray even though im immensely proud to say that Im trying to stay firm to my deen more and push that nigga away. If ANY muslim or even nonmuslim is reading this and has any suggestions that you think might help me with staying on ALLAH’s straight path PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU, PLEASEEEEE, leave a comment so that I may take heed and stay on the path leading to Jannah.


Okay so Im like an author or something (yea or something). I write lots of stories, poems etc. I put some of them on websites like Wattpad.com. When I post my stories it’s so people can enjoy them…so that I can enjoy people enjoying them. Im a mean person but I like when Im the source of someone’s happiness. It makes me feel good and the person who I’ve made happy. So I kill two birds w/ one stone (which doesn’t make the birds happy). Anyway, i don’t mind people giving their little comments here and there ex. “Oh I really like you’re story”, “Im starting to enjoy it”, “You’re writing is weak and you’re story seems unrealistic”…I welcome constructive critisism. It makes my writing better for both me and the people reading it. It gives me minor instruction and fresh new perspectives.
But I despise when some retard tiddlybot comes along and gives some retard comment.
For instance “I don’t like you’re character’s name. Her name should have been Kelly.”
Um who the hell are you?? You don’t get to decide my character’s name.
Or how about this comment “Your character’s too young!”
Listen hoe, this is my book, my story, my imagination, my character. I am the author of this story. Meaning I and I alone have the author-ity (see my lil play on words lol) to do as I please with anything that has to do with MY storyline. Now if you don’t like the goddamn age, name, hair color of my character go elsewhere and make your own effing character.
Sheesh I can’t believe people have the audacity to approach me with such bullishedness.
Okay rant over lol
……Btw Im trying to improve my control over my filthy mouth and what better way to do it then here -_-

School Out….?

Omigoshhhh! Alhamdulilah im sooo glad that school is almost over. Technically 2-3 more weeks but im just gonna say 5-7 more days because we have regents and blaah blaah lotsa tests that I dont really have time for. I cant waiiit until Ramadhan and Eid (Yesshhh!) My sis is supposed to be coming back from that godforsaken country that she’s in and Im hoping that I can go back to NJ.
Sooo Today was weird…I have this one AIS (I have no idea what that stands for)  teacher who doesnt like me, we’ll call that butthole Mr. Yo. I’ve come to the conclusion that Mr. Yo doesnt like Muslims in general. He’s arrogant, rude, ignorant, disgusting, horsefaced, and an all around a**hole. Just thinking about him males me angry because Im Maryam and Im just that dramatic. But trust me Im not being dramatic about this lol.
So Mr. Yo told all the kids in his “history” class last year that all ‘moslems’ were radical extremists, terrorists, blaazay blaazay…the whole nine yards. Some of those kids came to this year like “Are you a terrorist?”
Being the passionate, outspoken person that I am…Im like “Wth?! If I was a terrorist all of you stupid people would be dead from the moment I set foot in this building.”
And they’re just like “uggghh” looking and sounding stupid w/ drool escaping their mouths.
Now i sound meanish but w/e.
But anyway Mr. Yo refuses to let me go to the bathroom…like ever. My school has a policy that for the first and last 10 mins of class people arent allowed to use the bathroom and im cool w/ that. But once those 10 mins are up the teacher has to let us use the bathroom. He will give everyone else permission and refuse to let me go…every…single…time. The first time he did that I told him off, every time after that I would ask him (out of respect -.-) and just leave when he said No. He is/ was not about to sacrifice my bladder, kidney, or liver because he’s a butthole. Shoot I walk straight out the class and come straight back when im done…Like A boss!

Just Me

Well, hello there. salaams…howdy. Im maryam, 16. trini and african american, MUSLIM & PROUD. I decided to start blogging because Im a pretty opinionated person and I like letting people know those opinions…whether they want to hear them or not. So I figured..why not let them read them ^_^ (I love this lil face ^_^).

Besides I like reading, writing, literature <–( did I spell that right?) the works. I’ve kinda always wanted a blog anyway. Another reason Im doing this is to show this hard headed, big headed, ugly faced world that muslims are regular people too. So im basically gonna be discussing what ever is on my pretty lil mind.

The best part is I can basically say w/e I want on here because who ever is reading this doesn’t know me…and if you do…Aw well :/